Lilac Cape

Oh hoh, I haven't forgotten about you yet my lovelies. I come bearing gifts; the fruits of my job application labours once more. Dudes wanted samples for advertising places, and lo and behold -


If your malformed flesh chassis is in dire need of a repair, head down to Mayfair to be serviced by expert osteologists at Claridge's Hotel, a five star luxury spa. Their arcane, other-worldly accountants have conjured the means to provide these services in the form of a ninety minute Thai massage at a mere 199 pounds, shaving a whole one hundred pounds of the regular cost. Their ways are as mysterious as the bar is sublime. The wizardry goes on not behind closed doors, however, as the arcane culinary conjurers run frequent master classes for the curious and the brave.


And again!


Do you have a burning, perverse lust for as many aquatic creatures a you can fit inside your person? Fish House in North London is equipped to satiate your needs. For the paltry sum of fifteen pounds, you will recieve thirty pounds' worth of food and drinks for two, allowing you to share your eternal ichthyological passion with the loved one of your choosing. Not only is this a bargain any filthy peon would be lucky to lay their meaty paws on, but the goods on offer are in fact in line with the ancient words layed down by the Marine Conservation Society, so while you are lining your bronchial passage with eldritch, forgotten sea beasts, you can rest easily knowing you are causing minimal harm to the environment.